Anyone Want to Work With Me?

Let's see... my last post was almost a month ago, and it was a pretty small one.  I've been busy!
But it's good to be busy, especially when the housing market has looked so bad in the past few years, and you work for a company that directly serves that industry.  My guerilla war about data as (apparently) been successful enough that I'm now looking for someone to help us out, full time.
What Do I Want?
I want your job.  Seriously.  I'm of two minds on getting another body in here.  On the one hand, it should make things happen faster - but on the other, that's work I won't get to do and things I won't get to learn.  If I could clone myself, or get by with only a few hours sleep a night like Buck Woody, I'd do it.  (If you know me personally, that last sentence is pretty funny.)
What's the Job?
I need some help working on our data warehouse.  I feel pretty comfortable with the "first half" of the technical aspects of it - sourcing the data and transforming it into an appropriate dimensional model inside a relational store.  What I don't know well is the "last half" - working Analysis Services, a reporting tool (RS, Crescent, Tableau, QlikView, ...), and SharePoint.  We have a small team of hardware/OS guys, but they don't know this stuff either, and don't have a massive budget to address our coding inefficiencies.
This Isn't a Backroom Job
If you're not very comfortable talking to "suits," you won't enjoy this job.  Without a doubt, you'll be working with C-level executives and VPs from time to time.  Even though you may feel most at home in a cave gently washed by LED backlighting, you'll need fantastic communication skills in email, phone, and face-to-face situations all over North America.  It won't be the majority of your work, but you'll have to be comfortable with teaching "end users," evangelizing our capabilities, and listening very hard for opportunities and difficulties with data.
Self-Starters Only
Another reason I'm hesitant to move in this direction is that I loathe having to monitor other people... in part because I get distracted by work myself.  If you need constant feeding, at some point you'll starve to death because I've unintentionally ignored you.  You need to find your own work and check in with others from time to time to make sure we're all part of the same pack, pulling in the same direction.
I'm looking for a flexible mind, a problem solver, and a committed learner.  Someone who isn't a 9 to 5er, but understands that's when they'll get called for information.  You will also have to feed my desire to learn from you.  I want to understand the technology so we can offer the guys who do real work at this company the data and insights they need to keep us on top.  I'll reciprocate gladly - anything you want to know about anything you think I know.
Benefits Are Great
I'm not going to go into a lot of details here - because there's only one that should get me the applicants I want, the rest should take care of itself.  I like working here because I get to do what I love, and work with people that like what they do.  If you're passionate about fact-based decision making, and want to help provide it to a company that's waking up to how valuable that can be, contact me.